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But first, theissue at hand. "This is what girls want, sweetheart," I explainedto him. "When you're being a girl you'll want to know more abouthow we feel about these things. It'll help you feel moreauthentic." I already know how you feel about mine," he said, staring at thething warily. "I mean, you make love to it all the time." No you don't know, not really," I replied. "We lick and suck andkiss these things out of affection for our guys, because it makesthem feel good and it flatters them and makes them feel wanted. But only when it's inside us do we feel really fulfilled! Becauseit feels so good inside us. Even thinking about one inside us putsa certain sway in our hips as we walk, a certain feeling inside us,as if we already had one tucked in there. You need to know thatfeeling yourself at first hand. I want you to know, and I want toknow you know." He was reluctant, but he nodded. "This week we're two women, honey. We're lesbians. Women who makelove to each. The local paper calls me "the doctor to the stars" in their gossip column, but all that really means is that I treat a lot of sore throats and other minor ailments for entertainers coming through the theaters and concert venues here. It's not like I'm the personal physician to Prince, or even those guys from "Mystery Science Theater 3000."There aren't very big fees involved and I have to agree to be on call virtually 24/7. But it makes for a nice change from my regular practice, and I get a kick out of meeting celebrities.When I punched in the phone number that night, I didn't expect much. I hadn't checked the paper's listings that morning so I wasn't sure who was in town.The call was from the Metrodome, which confused me. I thought the Twins were in town; they've got their own team doctor. Besides, I don't do sports injuries."And I don't do singing injuries," Dr. Maxwell told me when I got through to him. "Seriously, Alan, I'm sorry to bug you with this, but my malpractice coverage.
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